A fat girls guide to online dating
Dating can be tricky for anyone. If you in anyway stray from the conventional it's doubly hard. Taking your search online can remove a lot of difficulties. You get an idea of someone before you meet, you can weed out the ridiculously incompatible & it offers an opportunity [if gte vml 1]><v:group id="_x0000_s1026" style='position:absolute;margin-left:92.1pt;margin-top:465.8pt; width:410.9pt;height:277.9pt;z-index:251659264;mso-wrap-distance-left:12pt; mso-wrap-distance-top:12pt;mso-wrap-distance-right:12pt; mso-wrap-distance-bottom:12pt;mso-position-horizontal-relative:page; mso-position-vertical-relative:page' coordorigin="-50800,-50800" coordsize="5217838,3529554"> <v:shapetype id="_x0000_t75" coordsize="21600,21600" o:spt="75" o:preferrelative="t" path="m@4@5l@4@11@9@11@9@5xe" filled="f" stroked="f"> <v:stroke joinstyle="miter"></v:stroke> <v:formulas> <v:f eqn="if lineDrawn pixelLineWidth 0"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @0 1 0"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum 0 0 @1"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @2 1 2"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @3 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @0 0 1"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @6 1 2"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelWidth"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @8 21600 0"></v:f> <v:f eqn="prod @7 21600 pixelHeight"></v:f> <v:f eqn="sum @10 21600 0"></v:f> </v:formulas> <v:path o:extrusionok="f" gradientshapeok="t" o:connecttype="rect"></v:path> <o:lock v:ext="edit" aspectratio="t"></o:lock> </v:shapetype><v:shape id="_x0000_s1027" type="#_x0000_t75" style='position:absolute; width:5116238;height:3427954'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\shafikl\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image001.png" o:title="E74AE6A4-C29A-49A1-A044-05B9B6193714-L0-001" croptop="20382f" cropbottom="20382f"></v:imagedata> </v:shape><v:shape id="_x0000_s1028" type="#_x0000_t75" style='position:absolute; left:-50800;top:-50800;width:5217838;height:3529554'> <v:imagedata src="file:///C:\Users\shafikl\AppData\Local\Temp\msohtmlclip1\01\clip_image002.png" o:title=""></v:imagedata> </v:shape><w:wrap anchorx="page" anchory="page"></w:wrap> </v:group><![endif][if !vml][endif]to meet people you may not otherwise cross paths with. There is of course a catch; there are a multitude of awful people online. As a fat women it can feel like you're an easy target. Our size can garner insults, nasty rejection, backlash when we reject others. So, here is my guide to navigating the romance minefield.
Be honest
This first tip applies to everyone. Represent yourself accurately. You want to meet someone who is interested in you. Tell it like it is, be clear about what's important to you & what you are looking for. Don't lie about trivial things like your height or body type, you'll get rumbled. Be clear about what you're seeking. If you're searching for true love it's probably best not to get involved with those wanting a hook up & vice versa. I think the best profiles are the ones that give you feel for the person. Let your quirks show, screw being cool, just be you.
Photographs
Do not be afraid to show yourself in all your glory. I think it's sometimes tempting to use only your most flattering pictures. However, I don't recommend this approach. By all means throw in some photos on which you are glam & looking awesome, but also include some everyday snaps. Do not hide your body. There are people out there who love to indulge in a spot of fat shaming. You don't want to meet them. If the mention of a fat woman makes some run in horror, let them run.Your body is great, flaunt it. Use full length pictures. Fling a no make up shot. Trust me, there are tonnes of beaus out there who will find you delicious. Let them find you.
Photo Credit: http://www.jibanyonjan.co.uk/
Don't tolerate abuse.
There is a block button for a reason, use it. Seriously, for any infraction you see fit. You don't owe anyone a reply. You don't owe anyone a chance. Trust your instincts.If someone doesn't feel right, there's probably a reason. The only messages that are of interest are nice ones!
Make your profile pop
Stay clear of the cliches. Saying you love to watch a movie with a glass of wine doesn't tell anyone anything about you. Try to give prospective suitors a glimpse of your personality. Talk about your passions, be they knitting or deep sea diving. Share what you're doing with your life & where you hope to be in the future. Give an idea of how you like to spend your time; are you a social butterfly, a gym bunny, where would you rather be at 3am, kicking up your sky high heels or snuggling down under duvet? Are you witty, shy, romantic? Let it show.
Avoid specialised sites.
In my opinion BBW sites are not the way to go. I've only heard of negative experiences. Often those sites are populated by fat admirers who fetishize your body. That doesn't strike me as a solid foundation for a relationship. Sure, your body is hot. Of course you want to be with someone who finds you irresistible, but you are more than your curves. You are so much more than someone's sexual fantasy. I've always used regular dating sites & met really nice men who were attracted to a variety of different parts of me. Whatever kind of affair you hanker for, I think it's better to find it with someone who recognises you're an entire person.
Photo Credit: http://d3w2isf8wrarf8.cloudfront.net
Don't give up!
You will have to trawl through a tonne of profiles. You'll chat online & feel
a spark that dies when you meet in person. You might not meet your soul mate, but I guarantee you will meet interesting new guys or gals. Not to mention the joy of that first date fizz in your stomach
Ly is a freelance writer based in Glasgow. She's a proud veggie feminist and a fashion blogger.
Twitter: @Wee_Frumpy
Instagram: @Wee_Frumpy